You know that feeling when memories and thoughts shift through your mind with no rhyme or reason - well, I remembered something recently that I hadn't thought of for many years. My period was late. I had broken up with an ex a good long while before, and sex hadn't factored in for quite some time (I had that 'I'm going to get to know me' thing going on). You know where this is going. For a moment, I panicked and thought 'The only explanation for my delayed period can be pregnancy'. And you'll also know that becoming stressed about it does little to help when you're PMSing and being irrational.
You'll not be surprised that I was, indeed, not pregnant. And I still haven't been, actually. I was thrilled. For me, that was the right way at that time. And sometimes it's about as far removed from being desired as you can get. Sometimes not being pregnant is the worst thing in the world, especially if it keeps happening again, and again, and again.
Today, I want to share with you a story from a mum who experienced that loss repeatedly, over many years, over and over again. The joy, only to be squashed by another failed pregnancy is hard, and I couldn't be happier to share the news: This one has a happy ending.
Let me introduce you to Katy.
My name is Katy I live in Devon England with my husband, our dog and our rainbow baby.
He is our rainbow baby because after 3 pregnancy losses, 6 years of trying to conceive and four embryo transfers through IVF we finally brought our baby boy Parker home in May this year.
It was a quite a traumatic birth as I had a long induction process, which then led to an emergency c- section where I lost a lot of blood. Myself and Parker also had to stay in hospital for five days on antibiotics because we both developed an infection, it was a stressful time but after waiting so long it was all worth it. Parker has been such a happy and content baby so far. He is used to spending time with other people which is great and his sleeping pattern over night is a dream at the moment. I feel like after the entail few weeks you just know your baby and you feel so confident with them, I love watching him change daily and getting a little personality.
Before getting pregnant I never liked the idea of breastfeeding. I suffered with mastitis quite a lot when I was younger due to hormonal changes and it was really painful whereby I had to have antibiotics and unfortunately my right nipple became inverted. I thought I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed to be honest and knowing the pain I had I didn’t want to put myself through that again. When I got pregnant my views on breastfeeding completely changed it was down to a friend who breastfed really and seeing lots of women online. I liked the thought of the bond and the closeness. I was never going to put pressure on myself and my husband wanted to be involved with feeding so I knew I wanted to pump too.
After the blood loss during my c section, Parker not being able to latch because he was too tired due to his infection and also needing to feed as he was on antibiotics, I decided to combi feed with formula, pumped milk and breastfeeding. I initially thought once he got better I could just pump and breastfeed but it didn’t work out that way.
I didn’t feed enough I didn’t quite understand the supply and demand rule which I’m gutted about and I think my supply wasn’t great after everything either so the need to use formula got more and more as he was growing. I also had visitors as soon as we brought Parker home when ideally I should have been concentrating on building up my supply and becoming confident with feeding.
I continued with combi feeding with both formula and breast but then I broke my leg when Parker was just four weeks old, I had to have surgery which made my already not great milk supply plummet to even less. After breaking my leg I had more time to pump as I was stuck on the sofa and I had help with Parker from family members. I started power pumping to build a supply up again and it worked. It hasn’t built it up to where I wanted it to be which would be exclusive breastfeeding and pumping. I am still not happy with the supply and maybe I won’t get a better supply now but I am still trying. The Lola&Lykke pump is helping me on that journey and it has been fantastic!!
Before Parker was born we bought an expensive double electric pump and it hasn’t worked for me at all. You’re stuck to sitting next to a wall as it is not wireless like the Lola&Lykke pump. That is the best feature, the settings have been great for me and I just love the branding/design it really is the best looking pump I have seen.
I advocate ‘fed is best’ because I think there is too much pressure on how you feed your baby, as long as they’re happy and thriving then you do what is best for you and your family. Happy Mum = Happy Baby!
My advice would be try not to care about what other people think or feel pressured to feed a certain way you do what is best for you and your family. I would also say if you do choose to breastfeed do give yourself that time when your baby is born to learn and become confident about breastfeeding, before you invite visitors to stay.
Thank you Katy for sharing your journey with us. It must have been so hard on you both mentally and physically, and we're so happy that everything finally ended how you wanted. Congratulations for your growing family <3
During her pregnancy, we gifted Katy the Lola&Lykke Pregnancy Support Band to ensure her pregnancy could be as pain-free and enjoyable as we could make it and I'm happy to report she really enjoyed it:
Infertility is at worst a toll on you and your body, and at worst an emotional crisis overlapping into all aspects of your life. There are many ways it can be medically treated with IVF and other ways, but we often forget the emotional toll it takes on your wellbeing. Have a look at Jenni Huhtala's recent article in our blog: Psychotherapy can help treat the emotional crisis of infertility. Jenni is a licensed psychotherapist, specialised family therapist, couples therapist, and sexual therapist, and one of our amazing Experts!
If you have any questions rising from this blog, or something else is on your heart, don’t hesitate to Ask our Experts!